12/7/13, 1:20 am

Hunter Thompson once wrote about being reborn.  In the author’s note to The Great Shark Hunt he wrote that he “might as well be sitting up here carving the words for my own tombstone...and when I finish, the only fitting exit will be right straight off this fucking terrace and into The Fountain, 28 stories below and at least 200 yards out in the air and across Fifth Avenue.”  He decided to make a conscious decision that he had lived the life that he had planned to and that “everything from now on will be A New Life, a different thing, a gig that ends tonight and starts tomorrow morning.”

I’m feeling a bit like the good doctor on this cold winter night in St. Louis.  I am looking out a window at the building across the parking lot and contemplating what my second life will hold.  After a long talk with my wonderful girlfriend I am starting to feel like the life I counted on is over and now I have to start trying in order to make things happen.  I’ve been at the party now for almost 30 years.  It has been a lot of fun.  But I’ve been coasting for the most part.  Maybe not through all of it, but for most of it I’ve found the safest nearby wave and rode it for as far as it would take me.  The comfortable wave instead of the calling wave.  The calling waves are the ones that call out to those who are ready for a challenge and want to gain an actual rush from accomplishing it.  Even sitting here at the keyboard my instinct is telling me to cut this rant short and go watch tv.  But pressing on is much healthier.  

I’m not planning on doing a header out the window and Dr. Thompson didn’t do it either.  I am however thinking that Luke Schnake 2.0 will be born in the morning after some sleepy time.  

What, you ask, is the conflict that brought on this resolution?  It actually is some distressing news regarding unpaid college bills and the news that I may not be able to pursue a second college degree in journalism right away.  I am four classes shy and would love to be able to apply for jobs in the St. Louis market with a B.A. in journalism.  It just may have to come to pass at a later date.  Luke 1.0 may have let this detract him from his goals, but as you will see, Luke 2.0 is going to be more assertive in his writing and publishing goals and will be every bit as handsome as previous Luke.  I WILL receive my second degree, but it may not be in August as hoped for.  I will become a professional writer or reporter, and I will receive gainful employment doing so.  Economy and job markets be damned!!!  Words must be produced!!!  Why not by Luke 2.0!?

My current personality before the overnight switch has lacked a certain amount of self-motivation that has hindered Luke 1.0’s ability to accomplish a lot of things.  On many occasions first Luke has mentioned how “the future will be different,” or how “from now on I will make myself write,” or “I am going to stop procrastinating tomorrow!”  It will be.

The talk with my Veronica that I speak of had me pacing back and forth around the foot of the bed and raising my voice not so much in anger but more in a declarative stance that this was the life that I wanted for myself careerwise and I want us both to be happy both in the home and outside.  For some reason my fragile psyche needs to feel the warmth of knowing that my intentions are out there before I am able to do anything about them.  Kind of like this rebirth that is taking place in the daylight hours later this morning.  Even though my public most likely gives no less than two shits about my intentions in life, it is nonetheless necessary.  The show must go on.  Luke 2.0 shall be born…

It is frustrating for me that this has not happened sooner because when I rack my brain for things to write about there really are endless possibilities.  Family, dogs, sports, work, it could go on.  Even if it may not all be interesting to everyone out there, that is where you start and hone your skill to the point where you could be writing about two robins fighting over a piece of toast and have your readers by their nuts the whole time.  Sometimes it just takes a little Chivas or Labatt Blue to get the fingers, much like the bowels, expelling the buildup in the brain.  There’s a lot of shit up there.

There are things that are possible that I can grasp for while I wait for the day to finish the degree.  Things that my former self lacked the gumption for, but Future-Luke will leap at.  It starts tomorrow (today)...Get ready.

(Friends will no doubt roll eyes at the thought of Luke still taking college courses...To these people I can only say: fine whiskeys and wines also take many years to reach their optimal taste.)